Friday, February 17, 2012

Pagan Blog Project - D is for Dad

Sekmet's Day
Resonant 27
Dreamspell - Yellow Self-Existing Sun (4 Ahau) - Kin 160
Mayan Tzolk'in - 8 Eb (Yellow Galactic Human) - Kin 112
Mayan Ha'ab - 0 Kayab
Waning Crescent in sidereal Sagittarius - Shaman's Moon


I've been thinking of my father a lot lately. My folks divorced when I was about 9. Since my mother was bent on getting a scriptural divorce, she and my oldest brother caught Dad with another woman. Yeah, so Dad was made out to be the bad guy. I don't have any pictures of him. When he died, my siblings and I split up his record collection. 


I went to his grave for the first time this past Samhain. It was peaceful. I have so many unanswered questions. Like, did my mother push him away because she was uber-religious? Mom told me that she fell out of love after the first year or two. Why she decided to be miserable for 20+ years is beyond me. I don't recall Dad being around when we did fun stuff. He used to work at the bakery until he got laid off. He drove a green Buick Centurion and made it clear that it was his car, not the family car.


Similar to Dad's car; his had 2 doors, not 4






Dad loved his music. I remember he would listen to his records with his headphones on, patting his feet to the beat. My sister and I would watch him shave. I have no idea why this was so fascinating to us. His favorite lotion was Jergens; I can't remember what cologne he wore except that it was in in a bottle shaped like a car. He loved Pepsi and those really hard pretzels. I think his favorite color was green. He made us scrapple, egg, and cheese sandwich and called it a Super Duper Daddy sandwich. He like to watch Kojak and Sanford & Son.


I'm thinking of ways to try to contact him. Trance, dreams, ouija board - I have no idea. Should I collect his favorite things? Wait for his birthday, Father's Day, specific phase of the moon? There is much that I need to know now that I'm grown. Instead of focusing on the negative, I want to remember and build on the positive.

4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry for your loss.
    My dad passed two years ago (my situation is different, however, in that I got to know him). But I find it helps when I listen to the music he and I loved - there's this African song he knew that I sing sometimes when I want to feel close to him. Also, preparing his favourite foods, things like that, help me feel close.
    I would use a day that was special to you both to try and contact him, e.g. his birthday, instead of a generic date like Father's Day. But do whatever feels right for you. Wishing you all the best!

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  2. I concur do what feels right and wishing you the best. Sometimes I seek contact through dreams and have had dreams with my grandpa in them ( he has passed on) blessed be

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