Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Using Buddhism to Manage Anger

One of my direct supervisors pulled me up about violating the work dress code that started Monday.  He mentioned that another supervisor had noticed me and some others that were out of compliance. I got the equivalent of a smack on the hand. I'm not upset about that. What grinded my gears was that the other supervisor and I had a friendly relationship out of work. In fact, when I saw "Michael" today, I was on my lunch break and we even chatted briefly. Little did I know, he was snitching on me.
I will admit I was mad to the point of red hot steaming tears. I felt that I deserved a courtesy heads up even if he still had to inform my supervisor.  Where does Buddhism come in? Well, there's this thing called cause and effect. The actions that we do or don't do (causes) have results (effects). We can't blame someone else for the things that happen to us. We must take responsibility for ourselves.
After I calmed down a bit, I realized that had I been paying more attention to the notices about the dress code, I would have been prepared. So yes, I have to take responsibility for my actions. Even though "Michael" could have handled the situation differently especially if our (former) friendship meant anything, I can't control anyone but myself. Being that angry will poison only me.
Instead of being steaming mad, I'm merely very sadden that "Michael" and I will never be friends again.

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