Monday, February 1, 2016

Coming out poly

by Patrick Kelly


My husband is okay with me marrying my boyfriend.

What? you say. Don't worry, I'm not breaking any laws. All 3 of us are well aware that polygamy (marrying more than one spouse) is illegal in the US. As far as biblical laws, well, none of us are Christian so there's that. As you may know I'm Buddhist Pagan Unitarian Universalist and my men have no particular religious affiliation. My political affiliation is Libertarian. I'm all about personal freedom and choice as long as it doesn't infringe on anyone else's freedom and choice.

I identify as polyamorous (literally: many loves). The opposite is monogamous. If you are content with having an intimate relationship with one person at a time- gender irrelevant - then you are monogamous. If, like me, you desire you have a relationship with several people at one time with their consent then you are polyamorous.

So yeah, although the union between boyfriend and I will not be recognized by the government, it will be recognized by us and anyone else who matters.


And now I will take questions:


How does it work?
Well, for me, my husband knew I was polyamorous when we met. He still married me knowing that this would not change. The most important rule was honesty. If I was going on a date, I told him. Unfortunately, my dates didn't quite know what poly was even though it was spelled out in my dating profile. Once I told them that my husband was well aware that I was on a date, they lost interest.

And your boyfriend?
He knows how to read and he understood my profile. Win win.

How's the sex?
How's the sex in your relationship? Just because I'm not in a traditional relationship that doesn't mean I want to talk about sexual specifics. But since you asked, none of us are complaining.

Isn't polyamory the same as swinging?
No, although there can be some overlap. Swinging implies more of a sex-only relationship between 2 or more couples. Polyamory is more of an emotional relationship between several people which can include sex.

Why have a ceremony when it's not legal?
Because my boyfriend is important to me and because why not?

You sinner! You will burn in Hell!
I don't believe in hell so....

Do you have any questions for me? I'm not an expert and I will try to point you to other resources if I don't know the answer.



Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Updated Tarot Astrology Correspondences

As part of refreshing my practice, I took a look at the major arcana of Tarot. Seems like everyone is using the Golden Dawn version. Some of the connections didn't make sense to me, probably because I don't study Hebrew nor do I have an interest in it. So with some minor tweaks, here is the version that I will use in my studies.

Fool - Uranus
Magician - Mercury
High Priestess - Moon
Empress - Venus
Emperor - Aries
Hierophant - Taurus
Lovers - Gemini
Chariot - Pisces
Strength - Sun
Hermit - Virgo
Wheel of Fortune - Jupiter
Justice - Libra
Hanged Man - Neptune
Death - Scorpio
Temperance - Sagittarius
Devil - Capricorn
Tower - Mars
Star - Aquarius
Moon - Cancer
Sun - Leo
Judgement - Pluto
World - Saturn

Saturday, April 4, 2015

UU Lent - Transcend

From Dictionary.com
Transcend
1. to rise above or go beyond; overpass; exceed; excel.

2. Theology. (of Deity) to be above and independent of the Universe, time, etc.


A lunar eclipse was visible today from Baltimore in the early morning hours right before moonset. I wasn't able to get a good view. The moon peeked out for a second then clouds covered Her. Restlessness consumed me; no wonder, the eclipse occurred almost dead center in my (sidereal) sun sign of Virgo. I think of Deity as both transcendent and immanent. Perhaps on some level She was trying to reach me. I like to think that when I rid myself of my physical body, I too will become more like Deity.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

UU Adult RE Spirit in Practice

For this week's journaling, reflect on something you do/have done to increase justice, equality, and/or compassion in the world. It could be serving at Sharing Table, bringing grape jelly to church, writing to your legislator, marching for a cause, participating in anti-racism training, adding some coins to an anonymous neighbor's expired parking meter, or any of an infinite number of expressions of interdependence. As you are reflecting on your practice, how would you articulate its deeper meaning? What inspires you about what you are doing? How does your action help you come alive?

What have I done to increase justice, equality, and compassion? Not enough but I'm trying to change that. I voted for the first time in 2012 as a registered Libertarian. Without arguing about politics, my goal is to educate whenever the topic comes up. (Did you know that the commission that handles the Presidential debates are owned / run by Dems and Reps? They set the rules for who gets to be in the debates which automatically disqualifies all 3rd party and independent candidates. Also most states have stipulations on 3rd parties in order to acquire and maintain ballot access. They have to meet a certain number of party-registered voters or else have to ask other voters to sign a petition. How is that fair or just? So I encourage those who say they are voting for the lesser of 2 evils to check out a 3rd party's platform.)

More recently, like today - just now - I registered for Pets on Wheels. My ex-religion didn't encourage any type of charity or community service, just their own door-knocking for converting purposes. Samus,, my 1st furbaby, is very friendly and I know she would bring a smile to someone's face.

Speaking of Samus - she is one of 4 furbabies that I have. They all come from my area rescues. If I had more room, I would have more kitties and puppies.

I'm not a people person. Really. I'm not. I'm painfully socially awkward but I deal with it well enough to get by. Samus picked me; she is such a loyal doggie. I hope with us doing PoW I can be a little less awkward.

My plan is to expand this part of my practice by participating more in the community service aspects via my church, (Honey, don't forget the grape jelly!)

Saturday, February 28, 2015

UU Adult RE Spirit in Practice

In what ways are you creative? 

I didn't inherit the artistic gene. My mother and my siblings draw pretty well. I draw well enough for Pictionary. I used to write poetry often but I'm out of practice. If you follow me on Twitter (@queenj) you may see some of my haikus from time to time. The first post for UULent2015 was a poem composed of haiku verses. Dramatic reading seems to suit me; I love to read parts for Sunday service when I can make it. Oh, and I sing a little.

When and where do you apply your inspiration, problem-solving, and sense of beauty? 

Sadly, inspiration is hard to come by these days. Crazy work schedule coupled with no time to connect to those who mean the most to me leaves me feeling depressed most of the time. It is a struggle to not write about doom and gloom. 

What creative processes do you engage in regularly?

I try to listen to the Universe. Instead of internalizing my problems, I see if the solution is "out there" somewhere. Occult practices require some creativity simply because of their nature. One can read tarot and use the accompanying book or one can feel the tarot.

I've thought about getting into some sort of knitting or crocheting. Anyone want to teach me?